LifeStyles News      Reporting the news, information and events that effect our chosen Lifestyle!

Mark Anthony
Sir Anthony
master@myponygirl.com

http://www.myponygirl.com
Motto: "I pulled the trigger and rode the bullet"

I have been involved in the BDSM lifestyle for several years.  Have been in the scene for over 10 years. Yes, pre-internet.  The last two with my live in slave and lover, erin. My desire is to write about the good, the bad, the ugly and the misunderstood aspects of BDSM as a lifestyle.

What can you expect from me?  I am not known to sugarcoat things, or be nice just for the sake of being nice.  I have an opinion and I will express it.  I expect those around me to do the same... We all have choices in this life and live according to those choices. 


Being Honest.....

It has been a long time since I last posted. Sorry about that, life kind of has a habit of getting in the way of writing! Ok, I ranted last about scary ads and people out trolling for that dream Dom or dream slave. Many have asked for a follow-up or at least some pointers.

First off… Lets be serious and look at ourselves. Are we free and unencumbered? What I mean is, not attached to another person who will know nothing about this search? One of the keys to success in a BDSM relationship, as with all relationships, is honesty. There are many people with a Master or a slave while being married to another person not in the lifestyle or in the lifestyle but not with each other. So always look to be honest.

Now, are you missing what is in front of you? Remember that seeking that dream Dom or slave, is not likely to happen. Finding a perfect mate in the vanilla world is difficult, like looking for the needle in a haystack. Now throw in a kinky requirement and you just increased the size of the haystack and shrank the needle to a pin.

Some of the best people to meet are there under our noses. Just need to be open to them. I found my fist slave in a bar and she detested women who submitted to men. She also loved leather and was soon begging to taste the lash. Go figure…

I have a good Dom who only accepts height, weight proportioned slaves. He is also very stable, financial fit and has the ability and the means to be choosy. Not everybody is in that position.

Be honest when posting. If you are new to the real world of BDSM, only want on line or seek out only red heads … state it. Want a long/short term, sex only/no sex, threesome or only in the bedroom Dom/slave, state it.

Wife/boyfriend in the picture? Do they know? Do they care?? Be long winded. A short posting “I am Dom seeking sub” doesn’t work. Let the reader get to know you. Tell them how you see your life with them in it.

Tit for tat … so to speak. If you ask for a profile/picture or other demands to show proof they are real, you do the same. It’s a good idea anyway to have a profile on yahoo or a website that has pictures or lists your background.

Be honest and be upfront. You will be surprised at the people who will respond. Maybe not to meet, but with offers to help you find others. Be direct with what you will or will not accept, but be real.… You are marketing, not trolling… On your replies, let them know how you like to be addressed and the details of your background or experience. Get out and mingle. People like to see who is doing the posting. Besides, if you live like a hermit, you probably act like one and that can be scary to the prospect.

Keep cool, but let it be known your looking. Do not take the “I know it all” stance. Or worse, think that since you’re a Dom, therefore all un-collared subs are there for your taking. Or as a sub, that all who call themselves Doms are really Master’s and you need to obey them. NOT.

Meet in real life. From the beginning, you should work towards a real life, in the face meeting. If they postpone it or want to “test the waters” online… Move on. Your time is valuable. Don’t be afraid to meet in a vanilla setting or spend several dates in vanilla settings before anything BDSM related happens. People like to be comfortable with their partners.

Check them out and see what hey are like in the real world before getting kinky.

Please remember… safe, sane and consensual. Where you are now, and where they are, may be very different points. Work toward mutual growth. What you/they know now, is not what you /they will know in six months. What is red now may be yellow later and than to a green. (safe words).

Relax, it will happen. Have fun, learn, read and participate in your local community, online and in other areas.

I hope this has helped. Next time you want to post a seeking ad online, remember these points and you will get better results.

Sir Anthony
slave erin

Your comments, questions and concerns are always welcomed. Start with the proper marketing

Past Columns

Time to renew your relationship

Start with the proper marketing

Perception

My turn to rant!

What Do I Mean BDSM as a lifestyle?

B.D.S.M. LIFESTYLE

© 2002, 2003, 2004 P.W.T. Productions LLC.